It was reported last night by several residents in the Fauxhat, Oregon, suburbs that a strange craft was spotted around midnight, hovering above the houses in a secluded subdivision. Interviews with residents indicated that this is not the first incident of its type to occur in this area.
"It looked like a boomerang," stated Les Holcomb, an apple grower in the valley. "I went outside on the patio about midnight to have a glass of my apple juice, and there it was. If I hadn't looked up, I never would have spotted it. It wasn't making any sound at all, although I seemed to detect a very low humming, like a generator, but it sounded like it was playing the beginning of Stand By Me by Ben E. King."
Barb Vulcanowski, a local elementary school teacher and another resident in the area, told reporters that a similar craft was hovering over her back yard at about the same time. "I went outside to smoke and this bright beam of light came down from above and surrounded me. The next thing I knew, I was inside a strange metallic-walled room with things that looked like big screen televisions all around. The room was circular, and it was dark inside. There was a metal table in the center of the room, round, and a platter with watermelon chunks on it and a little bowl of metal toothpicks. I ate some of the watermelon while waiting. It was very good but it didn't really taste like watermelon. More of a plastic taste."
Vulcanowski went on to relate a bizarre tale about three strange creatures who entered the room a few minutes later and began speaking to her in a high-pitched, beeping sound. "I had no idea what they were saying, but there was one word I did recognize. WalMart. They said that a lot. They also mentioned Michelle Obama, and they would always smile at each other and roll their eyes and make a giggling sound when they mentioned her."
After an hour or so, Vulcanowski states, she was taken to a big, cylindrical, metal chute and told to lie down and slide into it. When she did, a needle was plunged into her forehead. The next thing she recalls is finding herself lying on her patio, with her shoes on the wrong feet. "It's all very strange, but it wasn't bad, from what I can remember. They seemed pretty nice."
Vulcanowski added that the alien creatures had mentioned something about suing Al Gore for inventing the telescope.
"It looked like a boomerang," stated Les Holcomb, an apple grower in the valley. "I went outside on the patio about midnight to have a glass of my apple juice, and there it was. If I hadn't looked up, I never would have spotted it. It wasn't making any sound at all, although I seemed to detect a very low humming, like a generator, but it sounded like it was playing the beginning of Stand By Me by Ben E. King."
Barb Vulcanowski, a local elementary school teacher and another resident in the area, told reporters that a similar craft was hovering over her back yard at about the same time. "I went outside to smoke and this bright beam of light came down from above and surrounded me. The next thing I knew, I was inside a strange metallic-walled room with things that looked like big screen televisions all around. The room was circular, and it was dark inside. There was a metal table in the center of the room, round, and a platter with watermelon chunks on it and a little bowl of metal toothpicks. I ate some of the watermelon while waiting. It was very good but it didn't really taste like watermelon. More of a plastic taste."
Vulcanowski went on to relate a bizarre tale about three strange creatures who entered the room a few minutes later and began speaking to her in a high-pitched, beeping sound. "I had no idea what they were saying, but there was one word I did recognize. WalMart. They said that a lot. They also mentioned Michelle Obama, and they would always smile at each other and roll their eyes and make a giggling sound when they mentioned her."
After an hour or so, Vulcanowski states, she was taken to a big, cylindrical, metal chute and told to lie down and slide into it. When she did, a needle was plunged into her forehead. The next thing she recalls is finding herself lying on her patio, with her shoes on the wrong feet. "It's all very strange, but it wasn't bad, from what I can remember. They seemed pretty nice."
Vulcanowski added that the alien creatures had mentioned something about suing Al Gore for inventing the telescope.
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